shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
