Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
