she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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