We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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