I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize