Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
