so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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