plz talk dirty to me
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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