You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
They took my balls.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
