You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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