I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
