no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
