Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
