His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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