will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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