Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
its not stalking. its research.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am mentally ready for anal.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
