Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
