She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
