Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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