i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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