Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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