Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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