You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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