hotel room ftw
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
