What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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