He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
