LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
