Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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