I showed him my bush... on skype.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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