Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
