Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize