hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
