But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Randomize
