you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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