Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
