If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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