Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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