I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
