At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
