pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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