i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
