Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize