You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He better not be in your backpack
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize