and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
