shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
