we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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