This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
