it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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