Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
