curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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