the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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