I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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