So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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