Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
