I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
