Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
