to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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