wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
