and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He passed out mid-signature
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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